Depressing January

This is a bad time of year for SAD sufferers so I make sure I get out when the sun shines. It is hard to enjoy it though when I remember the phone call I got on Tuesday. My friend Gill, who has been undergoing intensive chemotherapy for multiple secondary cancers, finally lost her battle on Monday night. Her husband, Bill, realised she was going down fast and managed to get her into a hospice just before the weekend. She had the best of care in her last few days. I knew she was not going to make it through this bout of cancer but I had hoped the treatments would stave off the inevitable a bit longer. She had so much spirit and strength of character facing her last weeks. All her thoughts were of how her husband would cope and how the dogs would be after she'd gone. RIP Gill.

Losing Gill has helped me realise how little use I am making of the remaining (hopefully many) years of my life. Heaven knows what my 'prospects' are. My Mum made it to 92! But my dad died not much older than I am now! My health issues - obesity, diabetes - shorten my life expectancy so I am thinking probably mid 70's. My oldest sister is now 75 and full of life so the outlook is not all bad.
You may think I am being morbid, but death holds no fear for me. You cannot escape it. Everyone dies at some point. So why be scared of it? I am trying to make sure all my 'matters' are organised and listed so the children can settle the estate easily.
I am now taking positive measures to improve my general health. I have asked the doc to prescribe sessions at the gym for me and I am taking my friend Linda to slimming world next week to sign on. I have been increasing my dog walk lengths gradually, but having good and bad days with my knees sometimes curtails these. I have stopped using a walking stick where possible as it helps me walk more upright and balanced. If I need a stick then I use 2 for better balance. I do often take a stick to the supermarket as it is useful when things are out of reach on high shelves! But the stick sits in my trolley. I am still getting pain relief from the last steroid injection but it is slowly wearing off now and the next step is referral to the orthopaedic surgeons for a knee replacement.
John has made real progress with his new knee but it is looking as though he may have done too much too soon and is having a few problems now.

Honey had a tremendous run around on the beach yesterday. I went down about 4pm and the car park was almost deserted at Sandbanks.

We had the beach to ourselves for a while and Honey made the most of it, charging around at full speed and stopping at intervals to do her amazing backwards helicopter spins. They are hilarious to watch! I managed to walk the length of one section of beach and back. It is hard going on soft sand but walking the tide line is ok. I knew all about it last night though :( my knees both ached like mad all evening. I was thinking of 20 years ago when we first moved to Poole and how we used to walk into Bournemouth from Sandbanks, and back again! We used to have a coffee at Branksome cafe before heading back. A lovely walk taking a couple of hours. I am pooped after half an hour now :( But then it was before I had any knee pains at all, and I was a couple of stones lighter!

I have packed away all the Christmas decorations in labelled boxes, I just need someone younger and fitter to stick them up in the loft! I have bought large Lego sets for the grandsons for the last 2 or 3 years and they come delivered in these brilliant big boxes. They have made a big difference to packing up the dec's rather than just chucking them all in black sacks.
 I have enough baubles in assorted colours to decorate about 5 big trees, but it does mean I can change colour schemes easily. The turquoise and pink this year was a BIG change for me. I usually go for silver & white only, or blue and white, or gold and red. But I now have silver, gold, white, red, green, dark blue, turquoise, pink and purple! So can choose any 1, 2 or 3 from those.

The sun is shining and I need to move and sort out some lunch. Walkies later so hope the sun holds!
Have a good weekend my friends. xx