SCENE SETTING: I am an aging widow with three adult offspring, James, Craig and Jenny. James lives in his own flat, Craig has a partner, Di, and 2 sons, Jack and Alex. Jenny still lives with me. These are the important people in my life, along with my best friend, John. I have other friends who will feature in my blog now and then, Eileen who's in her late 70's and deaf, and Linda, who's in her late 50's and is almost blind. 3 brass monkeys always comes into my mind :)

C'est moi!

I have been blogging on http://www.feesch.co.uk/ for many years but that site is closing soon so I am moving over to here from now on. Please follow me for lots of boring stories of my life, with little bits of humour, some sadness at times and even the occasional bit of poetry :)

Now carry on....

It's Friday Nov 5th and it's damp. I am currently keeping John Freida rich by buying almost every frizz control product he makes. My hair is naturally curly - that I like - but it is also naturally frizzy (thank you great great great grandma for being African!) and being mostly grey now it is wiry and frizzy! It takes gallons of serum, mousse and conditioner to remotely control the frizz, plus styling wax to give that lovely defined curl look for an hour or two. Oh the things we women have to suffer in the name of beauty  Who said it's too late to bother?? *slap* As long as I have breath in my body and the means to do it, I shall wear make up and attempt to control my hair. There may not be much of the old beauty left but I need to support it and boost it any way I can (uplift bra, tummy control pants, anti-wrinkle cream, hair dye) all this so I can grow old disgracefully LOL.

I had the boys for an hour or so yesterday while Alex's Mum and Dad went to see his teacher for the termly progress chat. He's doing very well and is very happy at school, long may it stay that way. My step grandson is struggling. He is left handed, moderately dislexic, and 9 yrs old. Going out playing with his mates is more important than doing homework, and being silly in class so he gets sent out is easier than facing a struggle with the work. I can see him becoming disaffected and slipping further behind. Mum and Dad make every effort to support him and encourage him, with removal of privileges at times when he's naughty and rewards for good behaviour and hard work and effort put into his work. The signs are there of pre-puberty hormonal problems too so I think they will have their work cut out for them in the next 5 years to stop him becoming a bunking off layabout hanging around the streets and shopping centres.

It is very hard to motivate a young lad who finds everything academic hard but has natural skills and talents in some areas that could make for a good future for him if he could develop them properly. It is frustrating for all of us around him to see him switching off to almost anything other than blinking video games. He is strictly limited in his gaming time but he just seems to be waiting for the time when he IS allowed on the PS3 or Wii. It's all he talks about with enthusiasm  It is used as a reward for doing the right thing at home and at school and is withdrawn if he doesn't do as he's told. He does have access to games at his friend's homes, often games belonging to older brothers and way too old for a lad of his years and that worries me.

It is one thing to give your child some freedom to learn to be independent and make choices, and yet another to keep some 'scaffolding' system in place that will protect and support him without becoming a prison or straight jacket. A real juggling act for parents.  I have to stand back and let his Mum and dad manage him as they see best, because they have to deal with him daily and know him best. My ideas are now old fashioned and I don't want to be seen as interfering. All I do is point them in the right direction for support and help from school and education and behavioural experts. I don't want Jack to be 'labelled' but if it helps get the support and advice they need to help him succeed at school then let them stick all the labels on him they like. I just want my grandson to grow up to be a sensible and hard working young man who can get and hold down a decent job to provide himself with a future.

I know I am getting on in years, but so many of the young people they have on Jeremy Kyle are unemployed, pot smoking, drunken layabouts and it horrifies me. They get their girlfriends pregnant and get a council flat with benefits to live on and have no incentive to learn a skill or trade to make a living. What's wrong with some ambition and goals in life? Will they still be smoking pot and not working when they are 40? 50? and bringing up their own offspring to live on the state too? I know it's a minority but it's a growing minority and more teenagers are thinking 'why work when you can live on benefits?'. If the work force continues to shrink there will be no-one paying taxes into the system and it will soon reach a crisis point, with larger numbers of elderly people needing support and young people unable/unwilling to work demanding support, yet not enough money coming into the system to pay out. The crunch is coming.

Oh lord, sorry I have rambled on into such a serious subject. 

Normal service will be resumed shortly :)